lundi 20 avril 2026

AITA for refusing to take off my

engagement ring during a wedding?

Throwaway account and using mobile disclaimers.

I'm meant to be attending the wedding of "Tilly" and "Peter" next

month. They are friends of my fiancé, and we have hung out plenty

of times over the past few years. They got engaged around 18

months ago, and we got engaged 3 months ago.

My engagement ring stone is a light blue sapphire - in photographs however, it looks a lot darker (which is relevant).

We met up with Tilly and Peter last weekend, which incidentally was the first time seeing them in person since we got

engaged. When they asked to see the ring, Tilly noted that it was much lighter than the photos we'd shared. Peter

agreed, and a little while later after the conversation had turned to something else, Tilly asked if we remembered that

the bridesmaids' dress colour was a very pale blue. My fiancé is a groomsman so knew this, as he is wearing a

matching tie.

Peter said that they were hoping that only the wedding party was going to wear that colour, which was included on the

invites. He said that having a ring in that shade was "no excuse" to be "breaking the rules". This was said

humourously, so my fiancé and I both laughed, and I assured them that I'm most likely wearing something darker and

not blue anyway. Tilly then said that Peter was talking around the issue, and that I wouldn't be able to wear my

engagement ring at their wedding because it was too close to their shade of blue. She said that she'd already had to

make sure a family member wasn't going to wear a necklace with similar gemstones for the same reason.

A discussion ensued, as both my partner and I said that it seemed quite strong to be asking me to not wear my ring

(outside of sleeping and bathing, I've barely taken it off since the proposal). Tilly and Peter were insistent that I would

be "creating drama" by wearing it, and if anything, it suggested that I was trying to steal focus away from them and

the wedding party. I made it clear that I had zero intention of doing that, but also that the ring was not going to retract

from a bride and groom at the end of the aisle. At one point, my partner was even accused of proposing to me as a way

of taking more attention from them during their wedding timeline (we got engaged on our seven-year anniversary

during the middle of a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, so I am sure it was not just to detract from his friends getting

married).

We left it at a stalemate, and anticipate that either just me or both of us will be de-invited, which is no issue to me at

the stage. I do want to know if AITA though as especially for my fiancé and Peter, they've been friends for over a

decade, and it would hurt him if he misses his friend getting married over something so trivial.